Reunions

This was the second time I was meeting up with my school mates. It was not planned and was decided out of the blue when one of our classmates from Australia visited India and wanted to get together. It was last minute and I was reluctant, moreover I haven't really got to know these people ever since high school (I had changed schools after class X). Finally, I decided to go and meet my friends and did not regret it. So what is it about classmates, that brings back a smile, a happiness, may be a reminder of the hopes one had during childhood?

Is it the fact that we have been together and understood each other and accepted each other blindly at a time when our egos weren't so big.  It was a weekday evening, so only five of us got to meet each other. I tried to place the young, childhood faces that I remembered to each of the matured, grown up faces that were in front of me. The conversation ranged from old buddies, to teachers to our current lives. The topic of marriage and children did come up and it was really funny how each of us was trying to be a responsible parent.

It made us happy to know that we remembered so much and sometimes so little about each other. Our own perceptions of ourselves have changed so much during the past few years that it was nice to be reminded about who we were or are. I am not one for having lavish reunions but such small gatherings are a nice way to look back at the way we have grown, together or apart. Looking back today, after 20 odd years, I just feel that things were good after all and we have turned out alright. It is true, life has a way of balancing things out.

Random mails

For the last one year I have been getting random emails sent to my email address. They have been clearly sent to my mailing address by mistake. The kind of emails I received ranged from general 'hi' 'how r u' to family photos, matrimonial ads to details of new flat purchased. I seriously don't know how and when my name became so common that I seem to be getting one such erroneously sent email every month.

I recently have been getting photos and profiles of pretty young Punjabi girls waiting to get married! This was so interesting (provoking) that I thought I must let it out.

Guess what, I am supposed to be the 'eligible' bachelor! The emails are from the girl's side, either by herself (modern) or by her parents or siblings (traditional).  I don't know how my name has got included in this email mix up. But it is hilarious to see the matrimonial ads which seem to resemble resumes for a managerial post.

With the popularity of the various matrimonial websites, it seems like arranged marriage and the related businesses are flourishing.. Arranged marriages in India are not so simple to arrange. Its not just a question of putting up yourself as available and finding the most eligible partner. You have to search and find your way through the whole maze of your caste, community, religion, sub sect etc etc.  In the south, I am sure there are various specialised websites like 'Tamil brahmin matrimonials', 'Iyengar and Iyer' , 'Thengalai', 'Vadakalai' , 'Palakkad Brahmin' websites which help people improve their search criteria.

I have got about 5 emails so far, containing descriptions of Punjabi girls wtith their photos attached. I have just been deleting the emails thinking they will just get auto corrected or deleted and will stop appearing in my Inbox. But it is not happening. So I had to politely send an email stating that it was being sent to the wrong email address. Just take a look at the content of some the emails . I have removed the name and other details for the girls' sake.

"Stays in Paschim vihar. Persuing MBA . 1991 born. 5'4" height. Weatish complexion. Contact: 9213...... ( mother)"


Here is another one:

"Date of Birth : 20th Dec'85
Place Of Birth : Delhi Birth Time : 8.30 A.M..
Height : 5 '5' Residence: South Delhi
Mother :Housewife. Father : Expired.
Siblings : 1 Sister Married   2 Elder Brother Unmarried (Own bussiness in ..... )
Qualification & Job : Graduate  from Kamala Nehru College Delhi University ,MBA from Symboises pune And Having Over 3.5
years of Work Experience, Working With A Private Bank in South Delhi
 As Senior Manager - Operation (Branch Banking). Package 4 Lacs"

And another

Let us introduce ourselves first. We are punjabi Khatri, well educated
and cultured family.  This proposal is for our elder daughter. Her
D.O.Birth is 6.1.1987, height is 5,5" , weight 75
extremely  beautiful & smart, confident,  fair & charming. She is a
convent educated girl
and has done B.A. (Hon's) English, MBA in Marketing & HR and working in a Tata
 sky in Managerial post. Presently placed at Chandigarh but ready to relocate.
Professionally very promising career prospects ahead.   I am working
as senior executive with a PSU.  We have our own 3 bedroom apartment
in Gurgaon, presently staying in .... Delhi.
 

There were three more mails that I deleted but which contained more elaborate descriptions of the girl. Almost all the girls had very good educational qualifications, especially an 'MBA". So these days it seems like having an MBA is as good as having a "convent education". Another important qualification is the "working in an MNC" . I wonder what the 'eligible bachelor' does then?

I decided to take a look at some of the matrimonial ads that come with the Sunday newspapers. What I found after glancing through them is that the importance, atleast verbally, to tall, slim, fair, beautiful, homely girls has come down. Most girls are described with respect to their profession or job and educational qualification, which is such a drastic change from the matrimonial ads that were placed, say ten or fifteen years ago.

I just hope these professionally qualified girls are indeed valued more for what they do than how they look. I hope they find nice, sweet, suitable bachelors who appreciate them and their marital status adds another feather to their already beautiful crown.


Meanwhile, I will continue to post interesting emails that I receive, especially from eligible Punjabi girls.


Dated: 21 May 2013

Do people ever stop to verify the sender's name when they send such personal emails? I still receive these emails from people in response to some advertisement supposedly placed by me in the HT Classifieds.

Birthdays

As I complete one more year of my existence, I wish I was a little more remarkable than what I am now. I wish I didn't sound so spoilt, lazy, cynical and predictable. I am a bundle of contradictions with no direction.

I wish I had some of the wonder my daughter has in her eyes. To her, life is still about waiting for her birthday parties and wishing for a birthday every day.

When does that change? When does achievement and success take the place of joy and wonder? I guess when ego makes itself felt. When ego is dominant in me, I feel more about my own individual desires and achievements than when I am without ego. During our childhood, ego is still hidden in all the fluff and magic. As adults and parents we do the disservice of bringing our children out of the cloud and call it growing up.

I know that life indeed is beautiful and is a gift in itself. Everyday is a birthday and I have been given the opportunity of knowing and loving myself better. But its unfortunately not so simple or it is so unbearably simple that its difficult to practise.