Living in the Past

I recently got my wedding video converted into a DVD. This was after years of my mother's requests to do so. The first time I watched my wedding video was about 2 months after the event, when I was beginning my life as a married Indian woman in the US. I felt a little sad, nostalgic and bored watching it at home, all by myself. I thought it should have been edited and made into just one video, cutting all the so called special effects that the enthusiastic videographer had included.

There are various reasons why people record important events in their lives, the most important being, they want to save it for posterity. They want to relive their cherished moments, they want to show it to the next generation. I seriously don't think anybody watches their wedding videos just to look at themselves.  Firstly, it reminds you of how thin, young and naive you were. Secondly, it is uncomfortable to stare at a normal non-photogenic person for about three hours. Thirdly, it shows you when you are talking, laughing and generally in all the wrong angles for the camera ( how easy it is to blame the camera!).

Our traditional Indian weddings are actually quite interesting to watch, if you are not the ones arranging it. There are so many events, so many changes in the bride's clothes and hairstyle that it has potential to be a very good 'family' entertainer. But alas, we are at the mercy of the video guys who have their own ideas about background, colour and music that accompanies these videos. In my wedding video, I have no idea why there were so many 'Shankaracharya' photos and videos included. The video guy had chosen a good song sung by Balamuralikrishna as the background for most part of the wedding but he had included these random shots of Kanchi Shankaracharya in between our wedding ceremony that you actually thought that he had probably come to bless us. I don't know if that was the intention, but it was extremely confusing. Especially now, when I was watching it for the second time with my daughter, I was as surprised as her and had to explain the whole thing to her.

The fun part of the video consisted of awful close ups when I was looking sleepy, when my husband was yawning, and when my mouth was wide open in laughter. Let me remind you, wedding ceremonies in south India start at the crack of dawn. I was woken up at 3 am and made to wear the heavy saree and jewellery and made to sit quietly next to a purohit or vaadiyaar for about an hour. So I stared sleepily as the videographer and photographer eagerly took their first shots of me sitting for the pre-wedding ceremony.  As soon as the thali was tied, the videographer got really creative in his work. There were random flowers and hearts and chariots surrounding the bride and the groom's face. It reminded me of the Mary Poppins movie where they go into the magical land and suddenly ride horses and go on a carousel. Only difference was it was a badly edited video-mix with the outline of our heads starkly visible on the backdrop. I am thankful it didn't remind me of Bhagyaraj's films with the shower of flowers or rose petals.

The video had covered all the important events, even the food. But what it lacked was the spirit of a real south Indian wedding since the background does not include any chanting or talking or chatting that usually accompanies the ceremony. I think it would have been so much better if the guy had recorded the live sound that must have accompanied our wedding. All you had to do is keep a mike near the purohits as they loudly recited their mantras. Another mike could have been put in front of screaming kids and chatting maamis (ofcourse without their knowledge).

My own feelings about the video have surprisingly remained unchanged. This is so even though its been years since I watched it and I am now back in India with all my loving family surrounding me. People say that living in  the past is not good. It only drags you down and doesn't really help you move on. I must say that I totally agree. My feelings as I watched something recorded about 14 years ago, nostalgia, a little sadness and a feeling that so many years have passed.

There is something about the passing of time that makes you realise how temporary everything is. It made me feel that afterall, I haven't really changed so much. I am still naive and ignorant in so many ways and yet there have been so many changes on the outside.

The good thing about watching a family video: well, my daughter loved it and yes I could show her my grandfather, grandmother, her late great grandparents, and others whom she will never get a chance to see. A pity, she couldn't hear them talking and laughing and just being alive......