Ten unsusual sights on a Chennai road

It might be easy to get a driving licence in India. But the real test is facing the traffic and obeying the flexible rules as you face the traffic everyday.

Here are ten unusual sights that you can face on any road in Chennai. You may even get lucky to see them all on one single day.

1. A procession carrying a dead body, along with music, dance and fireworks with the right to stop and redirect traffic.
2. A bullock cart carrying wooden planks or PVC tubes or furniture.
3. People ignoring the one way and driving on the wrong side of the road, regularly.
4. People moving the temporary barriers or dividers put in place by the traffic police, in order to cross or drive around the barrier.
5. State corporation buses ignoring the traffic lights.
6. Manholes suddenly left gapingly open in the middle of the road, with just a red cloth put there to warn motorists and pedestrians to avoid it if possible.
7. Unusually high speed breakers put up by all and sundry, with no warning signs, to supposedly slow down the traffic but only resulting in breaking our backs
8. Traffic being stopped abruptly because of some political party's unannounced rally or procession or the CM's sudden drive through the road.
9. Traffic signals on important junctions found not working and left without a traffic constable, so basically you are expected to be a law abiding citizen.
10.  Sudden changes made to roads like  'no free left' just to catch otherwise law abiding citizens unawares.

Sunday with newspapers

When I think of Sundays, the first thing that comes to my mind is the Sunday newspaper. , If it is a Sunday, I don't think of an elaborate oil bath or sunday brunches or visits to the temple, I always look forward to skimming the pages of Sunday magazine. Even now, inspite of all the online newspapers I can never do without reading the newspaper in its printed format, with all the pages spread out on the floor in front of me.

I think it's the south Indian tradition of having the morning cup of coffee with the newspaper that is built into our daily routine, that we miss it no matter where we go. I always appreciate hotels which provide a complimentary Sunday newspaper to their guests. The Sunday edition is most attractive for its supplement that would contain miscellaneous articles on lifestyle, health, current affairs and topics of general interest. Spending about an hour going through these articles somehow eases all the tension of the week and is the best way I can start my Sunday.

When I traveled to the US, I was surprised to see my own relatives, not buying newspapers everyday in their homes. They had got used to getting the news through various other sources, and local news was more important than national news. When I tried to read the local newspapers there, I understood why people didn't want them everyday. I found them too bulky, containing a lot of junk mailers. I had to reconcile myself with altering my Sunday routine. I finally satisfied myself with a newspaper called the "Independent" which focused on art, movies and culture in North Raleigh. It was a weekly newspaper and had a lot of good movie reviews, restaurant reviews and news about local shows and exhibitions.

I think Indian newspapers play an very important role in the Indian society as they cater to a much diverse and vast population. No matter where we travel in Tamil Nadu or south India, we can be sure to get an issue of 'The Hindu' which would reassuringly have the same format excepting for a few changes relating to local news. It would be interesting to see the changes which will come when FDI is introduced to the newspaper industry. While the good changes like competition, quality of writing and reporting are always welcome, the unnecessary burden of advertising is going to be cumbersome. Newspapers in India are still focused on news rather than advertising. But slowly I guess we will be bombarded with paper, we will have to find ways to cut the paper overload, in the form of pamphlets and mailers. I don't know what will happen to my Sunday routine, I might have to spend ten minutes just removing all the junk to get to my favourite sections of the paper.

Compassion at Home

The Times of India group has come up with another social inititative, called the Compassion Day, today. I think compassion is a very important human emotion  that is sometimes seen lacking in big cities in India. So it is good to be reminded about this important emotion, at least once a year.

Go to any big city in India and you will see extreme poverty and affluence growing side by side. Big malls and bigger shanties coexist in the same area. You can see beggars standing at major traffic junctions, temples and shopping complexes. 'Compassion', according to Wikipedia, is the understanding or empathy for the suffering of others. People like me who live in big cities often become immune to the feeling of 'compassion' when we constantly encounter squalor and abject poverty in our surroundings. 

In my own neighbourhood, I have always seen beggars sit right outside a popular ice cream shop and a restaurant. Whenever I go into the shop or the restaurant, I see the beggars and feel extremely guilty and aware of the fact that I am splurging when they are starving. When I visit popular temples, I am often irritated by the line of beggars outside the temple. The more popular the temple, the longer is the line of beggars. The cynic in me sometimes argues that it is just clever positioning on the part of the beggars. But there is no escaping the fact that poverty in India is glaring and there is no way that we, the citizens of India, can exclude ourselves of the responsibility of creating a more equal society.

There are so many invisible people in our society, the watchmen, cleaners, waiters, hawkers, vendors, cobblers, maids and all kinds of helpers. You only get to enjoy their services or products, you never pay attention to them as individuals. So may be today can be dedicated to these faceless people to whom you can show gratitude in one way or the other. They live on the fringes of our society and yet we cannot imagine our lives without them. With respect to begging, I am still confused as to how we can reduce the number of beggars in the city, I think the only way to deal with it is to give, and give wholeheartedly. Only movies show people who are professional beggars. May be they exist, but so do professionals who cheat and steal and lie their way to the top.

Whither parking space?

If you live in Chennai or any other metro in India, you will know that finding parking space in the city is the most difficult task that you can imagine. I live in central Chennai and I constantly see changes around my neighbourhood, be it houses turned into flats or apartments or houses converted into commercial spaces. Whatever be the case, what is missing is the space for parking vehicles near the building.

It is not just residential buildings or office complexes, even new schools, hotels and restaurants are opened in prime locations, without any thought or space given for parking vehicles. They seemed to be concerned only about the destination, the don't care about the journey to the destination. It would be a swanky new boutique where all the women arrive in chauffeur driven cars but you will only see three or four car parking spots, all of which would have been occupied by the owners of the building. If you need examples of such shops, just go around Alwarpet, you can check out Tulsi Silks or Rangacharis or Rasi or even jewellery shops like Khazana or NAC which specialise in platinum and diamond jewellery.

I recently saw a new cafe ( I am always delighted to see new cafes) that was opened near  Hotel Savera. I wondered at the choice of the location and the access to the cafe. The cafe, a well known chain, is located right outside the exit gate of the hotel. I wondered whether it was put there to attract those who wish to go to a hotel but just do not want to waste time waiting for their coffee in a five star hotel lobby. It has no parking space other than whatever is available on the already narrow, busy road where it is located. So I wondered about the clientele this cafe was attracting. There was only space enough for two-wheelers to be parked in front of the cafe. So who are they attracting, students who wish to impress their girlfriends or overworked office goers who want to take a coffee break or chauffeur driven people who don't have to think about where to park their cars.

How many people visiting a cafe that prices its coffees at Rs. 75 a cup will be driving there in their two wheelers? This makes me wish we had parking assistants in almost every main road of the city. We must be able to hire these assistants to get our cars parked and be saved from the head ache of finding a spot in the scorching Chennai heat. I think this should be a good business, 'Any time Parking Service' (APS)  for Chennai. There is no point in waiting for parking lots to appear, so all you need is a clever, skilled driver who can park your vehicle in front of unsuspecting individual homes or apartments or even abandoned school compounds. Actually a skilled driver is the most sought after job in Chennai, second only to a good domestic help.

Living in the Past

I recently got my wedding video converted into a DVD. This was after years of my mother's requests to do so. The first time I watched my wedding video was about 2 months after the event, when I was beginning my life as a married Indian woman in the US. I felt a little sad, nostalgic and bored watching it at home, all by myself. I thought it should have been edited and made into just one video, cutting all the so called special effects that the enthusiastic videographer had included.

There are various reasons why people record important events in their lives, the most important being, they want to save it for posterity. They want to relive their cherished moments, they want to show it to the next generation. I seriously don't think anybody watches their wedding videos just to look at themselves.  Firstly, it reminds you of how thin, young and naive you were. Secondly, it is uncomfortable to stare at a normal non-photogenic person for about three hours. Thirdly, it shows you when you are talking, laughing and generally in all the wrong angles for the camera ( how easy it is to blame the camera!).

Our traditional Indian weddings are actually quite interesting to watch, if you are not the ones arranging it. There are so many events, so many changes in the bride's clothes and hairstyle that it has potential to be a very good 'family' entertainer. But alas, we are at the mercy of the video guys who have their own ideas about background, colour and music that accompanies these videos. In my wedding video, I have no idea why there were so many 'Shankaracharya' photos and videos included. The video guy had chosen a good song sung by Balamuralikrishna as the background for most part of the wedding but he had included these random shots of Kanchi Shankaracharya in between our wedding ceremony that you actually thought that he had probably come to bless us. I don't know if that was the intention, but it was extremely confusing. Especially now, when I was watching it for the second time with my daughter, I was as surprised as her and had to explain the whole thing to her.

The fun part of the video consisted of awful close ups when I was looking sleepy, when my husband was yawning, and when my mouth was wide open in laughter. Let me remind you, wedding ceremonies in south India start at the crack of dawn. I was woken up at 3 am and made to wear the heavy saree and jewellery and made to sit quietly next to a purohit or vaadiyaar for about an hour. So I stared sleepily as the videographer and photographer eagerly took their first shots of me sitting for the pre-wedding ceremony.  As soon as the thali was tied, the videographer got really creative in his work. There were random flowers and hearts and chariots surrounding the bride and the groom's face. It reminded me of the Mary Poppins movie where they go into the magical land and suddenly ride horses and go on a carousel. Only difference was it was a badly edited video-mix with the outline of our heads starkly visible on the backdrop. I am thankful it didn't remind me of Bhagyaraj's films with the shower of flowers or rose petals.

The video had covered all the important events, even the food. But what it lacked was the spirit of a real south Indian wedding since the background does not include any chanting or talking or chatting that usually accompanies the ceremony. I think it would have been so much better if the guy had recorded the live sound that must have accompanied our wedding. All you had to do is keep a mike near the purohits as they loudly recited their mantras. Another mike could have been put in front of screaming kids and chatting maamis (ofcourse without their knowledge).

My own feelings about the video have surprisingly remained unchanged. This is so even though its been years since I watched it and I am now back in India with all my loving family surrounding me. People say that living in  the past is not good. It only drags you down and doesn't really help you move on. I must say that I totally agree. My feelings as I watched something recorded about 14 years ago, nostalgia, a little sadness and a feeling that so many years have passed.

There is something about the passing of time that makes you realise how temporary everything is. It made me feel that afterall, I haven't really changed so much. I am still naive and ignorant in so many ways and yet there have been so many changes on the outside.

The good thing about watching a family video: well, my daughter loved it and yes I could show her my grandfather, grandmother, her late great grandparents, and others whom she will never get a chance to see. A pity, she couldn't hear them talking and laughing and just being alive......

10 Inspiring Blogs

Why don't we have an ad which says, be the 'complete woman' like the Raymonds ad? May be its because it is so difficult. I am always trying to identify women who will inspire me and help me become a complete woman. Or to be more precise, a complete person.  In my quest to find inspiring women, I have often searched the web for fellow women bloggers, especially in India, as I can associate more with them. I am indeed surprised and delighted to find the number of intelligent, articulate and accomplished women out there. If it seems a bit weird that I am focusing so much on women, let me tell you, I do think women's lives are complicated and have more twists and turns.

Here is a list of some websites where you can see the life and work of some really creative and interesting urban Indian women. I have often enjoyed visiting these websites and learning something from them.Most of these women blog and write about what they do, so it is both their writing and their work which drew me to their websites. I found some of these blogs through common friends on Facebook or through  references on other blogs. Brasstacks is a shop that I visited and liked. I got included in their mailing list, from which I got to read about the owner and creator of the brand. The last two are food blogs, but they have something extra, a little touch, which makes for good reading.



1. Just a Mother of Two
2.Blogeswari - 
3. Mommygolightly
4. Radio Parul
5. Compulsive Confessions
6.Y on Earth
7. Woman and a Quarter
8. Brasstacks
9. Padhuskitchen
10. Edible Garden

Money- Ye Dil Maange More

My maid's husband often comes to borrow some money. Sometimes, I don't exactly feel like giving him money, I just feel he is taking the easy way out. But then, I force myself to stop and think about his life. He works through the day for the corporation and sometimes moonlights as a watchman at night.  For the last twelve years that I have known him, there is little change in his lifestyle. He has borrowed money to educate his children and marry his daughters. And the struggle goes on. There is a good possibility that his children would have done as well as me, if they had had the same opportunities in life. There is an equal chance that I would have been born in a household like his, where money is spent faster than it is earned.


Money, you are damned if you have too much of it and damned if you have too little of it. If you have too much of it, you worry about how to save it, invest it, hide it, launder it and sometimes even distribute it or gift it. If you have too less of it, life is just hell. The difference money can make to people is tangible.

You need money to think, to cherish life, to create beautiful things, even to become better human beings. It is only when you start asking for more and more of it that you lose everything. Look at the plight of the cricketer, Sreesanth. He could have lived a wonderful, successful life, with enough money and a loving family around him. But he wanted more and wanted it quick and easy. If he can look for a shortcut to get more money, why do we blame others less fortunate, who do the same. The autorikshaw driver, the watchman, the policeman, look for extra money they can earn, one way or the other. It is the same greed that brings about major corruption scams at the higher levels of society.

Many educated, well employed, upper middle class Indians get very self righteous about corruption in India, I think it is first important to think about the everyday life of an average Indian who is just above poverty line. How different is the lifestyle of the privileged and the underprivileged in India? Have you done or do you do anything by yourself do bridge this gap?

People think that reforms by the Government can act as a magic wand to put everything straight. But it is ultimately the individual attitude that goes a long way to correct such deep rooted problems like corruption. Think about the amounts paid to the daily labourer or the domestic help or the policmen or traffic constables. I think they need to be paid much more in order to bring about some correction in the distribution of wealth among people in India. So go ahead pay a little more, Rs  20, or Rs 50, as much as you can afford, to the auto driver or to the coolie, atleast once or twice a month. That would bring about some change in their lives.

A little each day

Am I the woman next door, I wonder ?
That's someone I hardly thought about, for sure
I used to think that I would be different
Be involved in something bigger and important
An archeologist, a teacher, a singer, banker, the list is redundant
But here I am, consumed in matters between the back door and the front
As I struggle each day to do more, to create and explore

Some words, some thoughts, helping me improve myself every day
A little each day, is all I aim for,  making a difference in some way

Something Different that spiced up my week

This week I am proud to say that I have done two things I have never done before in my life. One is that I have attempted to stitch a dress for my daughter's doll and the other is I made Pani Puri (well almost). As you read on, you will understand why I am surprised that I did these two things. Pani puri is the most easily available snack in Chennai and I would never ever have thought of making it at home, but for my daughter's request. She loves the snack and somehow managed to persuade me to make it for her. Stitching is an activity I normally don't indulge in as it requires a lot of patience. But when you have a nine year old looking so hopefully up at you, it makes you believe in yourself.

It seems to me that whatever else happens, it is important for us to try out new things, atleast once a month. Its almost like pressing the refresh button for our brains. When I spent one hour stitching a tiny piece of cloth, I realised the amount of concentration it needed. It took my mind off any other brooding topic. It was extremely relaxing and I felt like one of those characters in a Jane Austen book, who carried on with their 'needle work', sitting so beautifully in their picture perfect living rooms or parlours. Sorry, I don't have a finished picture of what I am stitching. I would like you to believe that its all in the process, or work in progress. I am yet to complete the dress and it seems like it would require another couple of hours.

Cooking a new dish is always a creative experience but what I don't like is attempting a dish that I do not really enjoy eating. Pani puri is a snack that I almost never buy or never really feel like buying and eating. It is because of two reasons, one it is too messy and two, I hate to stand and eat or gobble one puri after another, right in front of the person who is making it. So it took a lot of persuasion for me to agree to attempt this dish. And even then, I decided to buy the puris and the pani puri masala. You might wonder what I actually made myself. Well, I made the spicy potato masala, cooked to my daughter's taste. I cooked and pureed the date and jaggery to make a sweet thick chutney. And I served it with some finely chopped onions and boiled chana. So, I am proud to say that I did manage to make the plain puris quite delicious.

I don't think one needs to attempt bungee jumping or sky diving to experience that adrenaline rush or feel alive. All you have to do is try out something that you have never tried before. You might end up not liking it but hey its all in the effort you take to think and act outside your comfort zone.