Friends

A friend I met recently mused out loud whether we would still be friends when our children grow up.She went on to wonder if she would ever be able to make friends by herself any more. When I heard this I thought that I was repeatedly hearing this sentiment expressed by many other mothers of my age. These people, mostly women were actually conscious about the number of friends they had or their chances to make friends in future. I don't know if men ever voice out such thoughts. But my point is when did friendship become such a big deal.


These women are mostly married ( I hardly have any single women friends in my circle) and with career or kids and family or both. If these people are finding it difficult to find friends, how about those who are single or without a career and family. All along I have always thought that marriage and kids would take care of most of an adult's needs. I never did think about friends that I would make after marriage or kids. I thought that friendship just happens. Does becoming an adult complicate the process of friendship?

As we are getting more wired and connected are we becoming more lonely? Do our large egos block the entry of any stranger with different tastes in music or art or philosophy? I think the moment we try to process friendship based on common interests or wavelength or age or class or any other criteria, it beats the whole purpose.

I am reminded of my maternal grandmother who used to have a number of friends and admirers. She was frail and hardly active outside the house. But her mind was lively and her heart was kind. She attracted people because of her genuineness and simplicity. Many of her neighbours became her life long friends. But her best friend was always my 'Thatha' or grandfather. I would like to believe that the ultimate aim of a good marriage is to give each partner a best friend for life.