Friends

A friend I met recently mused out loud whether we would still be friends when our children grow up.She went on to wonder if she would ever be able to make friends by herself any more. When I heard this I thought that I was repeatedly hearing this sentiment expressed by many other mothers of my age. These people, mostly women were actually conscious about the number of friends they had or their chances to make friends in future. I don't know if men ever voice out such thoughts. But my point is when did friendship become such a big deal.


These women are mostly married ( I hardly have any single women friends in my circle) and with career or kids and family or both. If these people are finding it difficult to find friends, how about those who are single or without a career and family. All along I have always thought that marriage and kids would take care of most of an adult's needs. I never did think about friends that I would make after marriage or kids. I thought that friendship just happens. Does becoming an adult complicate the process of friendship?

As we are getting more wired and connected are we becoming more lonely? Do our large egos block the entry of any stranger with different tastes in music or art or philosophy? I think the moment we try to process friendship based on common interests or wavelength or age or class or any other criteria, it beats the whole purpose.

I am reminded of my maternal grandmother who used to have a number of friends and admirers. She was frail and hardly active outside the house. But her mind was lively and her heart was kind. She attracted people because of her genuineness and simplicity. Many of her neighbours became her life long friends. But her best friend was always my 'Thatha' or grandfather. I would like to believe that the ultimate aim of a good marriage is to give each partner a best friend for life.

A Bhagat book

I have been curious about the 'Chetan Bhagat phenomenon for quite some time now. I remember a friend almost pushing the book 'Two States" into my hand but I firmly resisted it. The story seemed all too familiar and common. Seen it a lot in the family and everywhere around me. Anyway, so I actually picked up the book "One night at a call centre" from my library out of curiosity and found that it was not so bad at all.

"One night at a call centre" is Bhagat's second book after the best selling "Five Point Someone - what not to do at IIT".  "One night at a call centre" is an interesting and fast paced book. I have to admit that I could read it really fast. I managed to finish it within two days which means that anyone who is reasonably fast in reading can read it in say 6-7 hours. Its easy to guess the story. It is about what happened one night at a call centre. Bhagat describes the lives, relationships and aspirations of the youngsters of today through the call centre set up. The situations and climax are quite believable. The beginning of the story was different and caught my attention. But I found the 'God factor' in the story quite unbelievable. Bhagat tries to pack everything into just one story, love, patriotism, spirituality and bring out a happy ending. Other than that, I thought it was a reasonably interesting book. It could have been a good short story too if he had tried it differently.

I really would recommend reading this book if one is bored, needs to fill time waiting or traveling. If you can buy a Jeffrey Archer or Sidney Sheldon then why not Chetan Bhagat. Atleast he is Indian. The criticism against the book could be that Bhagat is trying very hard to bring out the desh-bhakt in his audience. He is atrociously anti-US and anti-global capitalism. Ironic that he was a part of it while working for some investment bank in HongKong. The good thing about the book is that it is a positive story and actually quite funny at times. The language is something that could be heard in a college campus, it is filled with local slangs.

Chetan Bhagat is clearly not Arundhati Roy or Vikram Seth or even Upamanyu Chatterjee. But he is surely better than Sudha Murthy, Shashi Despande or Rohinton Mistry. At the end of reading the book I did think it was better than some of the other Indian books I had read recently, like "A fine balance" by Rohinton Mistry or "Ladies Coupe" by Anita Nair. I had to plough through the other two books that I mention here. " A fine balance" was long winded, sad and downright gross. I did not like "Ladies Coupe" for the same reason, it was just too bleak. I think I will devote a separate post to Indian English women authors. I need time and space to wonder why they write such bleak stories about Indian women.

The fact that Chetan Bhjagat has become a celebrity is just a consequence of the popularity of his books. I wish I didn't know so much about him before I read his book. But that is just crazy celebrity gossip that we are fed with everyday by media. I think Indian English authors like Chetan Bhagat will only increase in future. They might not all come up with Booker prize winning material. But they are needed for the literary scene to grow more local and original. The English reading audience in India is increasing every day. We need to see more Indian English authors targeting this audience. We need more Indian English horror stories, mystery stories, historic fiction and even pulp fiction.

Malaise of multitasking

I have often been plagued with a persistent question, whenever I found myself with just one task on my hand. Is this the best I can do at this very moment? Should I be doing something more, something better perhaps? I think this is the result of constant multitasking in my life.

Multitasking basically means carrying out two or more things at the same time (by the same person). As far as I can remember, I have been multitasking even before the term became fashionable.

 I have been studying while working and working while I should have been studying. Net effect, I started working quite early in life and continued to write exams well past my thirties.When I should have been studying without a care, I was constantly worried if I would get a good job. When I was well-placed, I continued studying as I was not sure if I was qualified enough.

 I never felt the significance of multitasking until I became a mother. After motherhood, time takes a new dimension in your life. For once you are forced to acknowledge that time is not within your control. As you grapple with the new situation, you realise that everyone but you has an opinion about 'your time'. People develop great interest in your free time once you become a mother of a child. You are advised to sleep when the baby sleeps, or do something else (productive) while the baby sleeps. No one ever lets you just watch your baby sleep....lest you enjoy the whole experience.

I am not good at multitasking and its taken me this long to realise it. At the cost of effectiveness, I have only experienced tiredness and fatigue. Its not even physical tiredness as much as mental fatigue. So here I am, not multitasking any more. I have decided to enjoy the present moment for what it is without thinking or planning about the future.