End of day

Thoughts at the end of the day -
Long day, feel stretched, exhausted, spent. Preparing for the next day, rehearsing lines to be spoken at a meeting, looking up things on the internet, messaging colleagues, sharing a laugh, eating, talking a little with the family, thinking, planning the next day's breakfast, lunch, just the thought of waking up early.  Wondering about the ability of the body to push itself, the mind- does it push itself enough? Tired, heavy, sleepy, just want to shut down - thoughts go on and take time to shut down.

Staying alive, living

Drudgery of every day life. Cook and clean and cook again. Clean, put back, and put back again. Sometimes I wish dishes vanished once I ate my food. I have often wondered, how much I would cook if I were to stay all by myself.  May be I would also generate garbage that consists of take away food cartons. I read in the newspaper about this 60 year old woman who was found dead in her house in T Nagar, all alone. In a rather mundane report, with very little details and a hazy picture, there is mention about the fact that her house was filled with plastic bags and containers of food supplied by various hotels. There is a sentence saying that she used to buy her food from outside. Well, would that have a specific mention if the person who died was an old man? What is so surprising that a woman who lives alone chooses to buy food everyday from outside? I would love to have a community kitchen that can be paid for delivering food to all the old people who stay in the neighbourhood.

The indignities a woman has to face even after she is dead, no murdered. Details about her include her qualification, she is a B Com graduate and stayed alone after the death of her parents. There are many  more such old women who are probably staying alone, for various reasons. Are we still surprised that old people stay alone? The premium given to married life is still so high? Are we unable to think of people who are single who lead meaningful and purposeful lives? Is cooking and cleaning evidence that you live a meaningful life or that you are contented and satisfied ?

There are a number of old bunglows in Chennai around T Nagar and Mylapore, which look forlorn and unused, probably because it is so costly to refurbish and renovate an old building.  Walking down Radhakrishnan Salai, near the Yellow Pages building is the house that Dr Radhakrishnan lived. Its a beautiful old bunglow which receives a little attention every once in a while on Teachers Day. It otherwise looks unused, sleepy and probably has very old residents. On the same road, close to the Saravana Bhavan hotel are a couple of old Madras style bunglows, which have now been rented out to private Chartered Accountant firms. They don't look well kept either. It is said that the whole road had many such bunglows that belonged to Mylapore Advocates and Accountants.

Your phone- my phone

This debate has been becoming more pronounced over the last 2 or 3 months in my house. As my daughter enters the teen age and has more events and programmes to attend, there is a constant clamor for that phone, which is neither mine nor my husband's, but is hers. I have been successful in staving off the inevitable so far. There is a crisis only when my phone becomes inaccessible because of where I work. No wi fi and no plan for wifi makes it difficult for me to stay online or be in touch through Whats App and any other App. As an alternative, we have had to befriend and welcome any group that my daughter joins in WhatsApp. That means having various groups sharing messages about exams, homework, cool and cute pictures and also joining the music group or the dance group to find out about the classes.  Along with these groups comes the inevitable overdose of information and need to be constantly checking on these groups before going to a class. Teachers use these tools excessively, to cancel a class or send the song lyrics in the last minute. Cribbing about these even for a minute gives a chance for the same demand, 'That's why I NEED a phone. Don't you see how difficult it is to call my friends instead of just  using Whats App??!!" So the best policy, I see is to bite that urge to complain and just be calm and say that its okay to be surprised once in a while and that waiting is a good virture. Wait for that phone, wait until you are older and can manage your things carefully, let alone your time.

Happy Deepavali or Diwali

 Well, to me it still is Deepavali with the 'pa' being pronounced as 'ba' making it sound like 'Deebavali'.  Crackers, new clothes, oily wet hair, early mornings filled with cracker sounds and shrieks of children is what I grew up with. So I still kind of expect it during this time every year. I woke up, later than usual, to very few sounds. It was one big sound around 7.30 which actually woke me up. There were few people outside but I could hear a few bursts, coming far away from my house.

The daughter and husband duo got ready in record time. They had their priorities. Bathe, wear the new clothes and start bursting crackers, even before having breakfast.  It was a quiet Deepavali morning I must say.  We set the tone, our house, in our neighbourhood. Within 15 minutes, 3 other children, varying in ages joined us to create more noise. Sparklers, bijlis and sarams came out and soon there was an array of sounds, rap tap tap tap. Sweets and savouries take second place to clothes and crackers in my family. That is because I haven't had the time or energy to make anything special this time for Deepavali. After an hour of bursting crackers, there is a break to eat something. Vadai, sweets and bread make up our breakfast. The daughter is eager to get back to bursting some more crackers.

By this time, there is activity in most houses, which can be heard and seen. Whistles of pressure cookers, pooja bells, people dressed up getting out to go to temples or visit their relatives. Everyone looks well dressed as though there is a wedding that the whole city is invited to. TVs blare inside homes, with the latest songs or interviews by hyperactive VJs. Maids and cooks walk in later than usual and try to walk safely on the streets.  The newspaper men have delivered the newspapers on time and it is full of glitzy ads for Diwali shopping. There is very little traffic on the road.  We go out in the afternoon to visit our relatives living near by. The roads look different. It looks like a procession of crackers have gone by.  We talk, eat and share our sweets and stories. We come back home to have a relaxed lunch and rest. We rest peacefully knowing that there is a Sunday following the festive Saturday. There is a whole evening to look forward to. 

The day after Deepavali is usually a bit of a let down. Going back to the same routine after Deepavali is doubly difficult. Having a buffer of a Sunday, just to get back to 'normal' sounds and chores is a welcome thing. The Sunday that quietens the city and gives us some time to prepare for the rest of the week. Happy Deepavali or Diwali! Happy Weekend.